The Importance of Communication and Things Fall Apart

     One of the most harmful, unseen forms of child abuse is verbal abuse which leaves the child with years of mental and emotional damage. In the book Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, Nwoye was abused by the insensitive verbal abuse his father Okonkwo spouted more frequently than not. This verbal abuse forced Nwoye to feel like everything Okonkwo complained about was his fault even though it was not. This was due to the fact that Okonkwo does not know how to communicate with Nwoye. When someone is verbally abused self-esteem and self confidence plummet. Because of Okonkwo’s constant nagging and incompetence to communicate, Nwoye becomes unsure of his self and where he belongs in life. Many children and teens who are verbally abused feel pathetic, unwanted or as if they do not belong in the world. If Okonkwo would have thought of how to carry out the situation before he lashed out and used anger, he would have saved Nwoye the years of suffering. Modern day examples of victims responses and behaviors include cutting, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse and in extreme cases--suicide. A Florida State University researcher, Jill Elish stated: “Over time, children believe the negative things they hear, and they begin to use those negative statements as explanations for anything that goes wrong” (1). These negative comments result in the child internalizing the statements and altering their behavior and self thoughts based on their belief in the statements. Anxiety and depression are two long term effects of being verbally abused as a child, as well as the pattern of abuse being carried over to loved ones whom they may treat with the same behaviors. As a whole, individuals will become bitter and hostile about being in interpersonal relationships because of the repeating nature of the cycle of verbal abuse. Individuals should learn how to communicate their thoughts and feelings in a calm stance by not reacting to the statement right away but instead taking a step back and analyzing the situation. Communication is used everyday and without it a family can not function efficiently.

Elish, Jill. "Invisible Scars: Verbal Abuse Triggers Adult Anxiety, Depression." FSU News. Florida State University, n.d. Web. 3 Jan. 2014. <www.fsu.edu/news/2006/05/22/invisible.scars/>.